The Fortune Teller

Cross my palm with silver (or failing THAT, just read on!) and I shall fortell the future with astonishing accuracy! Forget Nostradamus, aunty Ethyl’s tea leaves, and The Great Zoltan - fairground fourtune teller - I would like to make a prediction - not based upon feelings, or crystal ball gazing, but upon history and facts.

These predictions I make in lieu of the cabinet agreeing to Adolf Anderton’s recommendation to ban party pills. I predict that: Party pills will remain available, although more concentrated in content, and contain more dangerous ingredients.

Gangs will now become the major retailer. More people will be admitted to hospital through misadventure due to their inconsistent ingredients (no labels stating ingredients will be needed now!)

Now they’re classified alongside methamphetamine and other truly harmful substances, misinformed party people-when going to their drug dealer-will be exposed to dangerous choices.

Stupid people will continue to listen to Jim Neanderton.

The drug problem will NOT go away, and government will allocate even MORE money to the war on drugs, even though they have no proof that it actually works. Adolf Anderton will find something else to ban in the near future.

Here is a very simple fact that Associate Minister of Health and Leader of the Regressive Party should have learnt by now! Ban things, and you create a black market. It’s the first law of street economics.

Something so SIMPLE even brain-dead street-punks know it. Obviously, it’s not simple enough for Jim.

- Watch for my letter in the near future saying "I told you so!"