Thursday, March 15, 2007

How do you feed a White Elephant?

This is the question raised recently by a local Tauranga man.
No, the
answer is not bananas or grass or whatever it is that the common garden elephant eats. The answer is of course RATEPAYERS - oh, and coffee!

The bigger the white elephant, the greater its appetite. Big
white elephants need to be thrown more ratepayers than say small ones!

According to Mary Brook and Catherine Thompson - local
authorities on white elephants - only 1 cup of coffee a week per elephant is necessary for their upkeep!

Of course, when you are responsible for the health and
wellbeing of a veritable HERD of white elephants, you may find yourself running short of sacrificial ratepayers to appease their voracious appetite, and coffee, being the addictive substance it is, 1 cup is just not enough, and soon lets its NEED be felt, and progresses from the casual social tipple to the compulsory FIX (ie I am dying for a cup of coffee.)
Government and Councils appear to be in posession of the largest
number of these creatures in captivity, and very seldom willing to let them go, happy to keep throwing them ratepayers, until those remaining squirm and jiggle about to such an extent that they have to take notice of them! At this point the councils usually call for the private sector to get involved.

I have found the best people to be in charge of white
elephants are those with a passion and a personal desire to do so – lets call them experts. Those who enjoy pursuing their own pleasures, and pursuits of their own interest are best to leave the feeding of such useless creatures to the experts.


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